A Letter to Lyme Disease

A farewell to the being of Lyme: an anthropomorphic lens on disease as spiritual engagements to learn and to grow from.

Dear Blessed Tangle,

I first noticed you when your roots had already dug so deep, I lost my residence in the manor and was relegated to the guest house. When I first noticed you, I didn’t know that you were a you. All I knew was that I “wasn’t okay”. That was step one. I wasn’t okay. That was the mantra inscribed in my bones. I wasn’t okay and I should not be here. God relieved you of your previous duty and charged you with me as your next student.

It took years of being edged out of the guest house, then off my own land, then to just a little piece of a cloud, floating high about the horizon, overlooking all that once was mine to steward. Plant medicine showed me who you are but she did not show me where you were hiding. Oh Blessed Tangle, your knots of roots reached everywhere. In our grand game of hide and seek, I was exasperated. All I could hear was, “I’m not okay. I’m not okay. I’m not okay.” I wanted to eradicate you and send you back to Hell where I thought you belonged.  

I’ve since come to realize the symbiotic nature of our relationship though. Your sly misgivings were the breadfruit of course correcting. You introduced me to my body in a way I’d never known. I understand what here is and why I want to be here now. You catalyzed this truth to be fully believed and that my dear one, is the best medicine I could have asked for.  

In order for you to listen to me, I learned that I could not be vengeful or angry with you. You were charged with this duty and it is a frightening thing to end a chapter. I would like to offer my hand to you to hold as we walk out of the the main manor, as we move your belongings out of the guest house, and we prepare you to walk from the land and move to the sky.

Welcome to the House of God, Blessed Tangle. You are of me and I am of you. We have held a powerful union but the power of relationship is not necessarily in longevity - sometimes it is found in the ending. Our parting of ways means much to many. May we recognize you as your own being, a full expression of refractions and honesty presenting through albeit unconventional ways. I want you to know that you are safe and you are loved here. I will always think fondly of you and the time in my life where you moved to the wind and returned to God. Every breeze to be a reminder that this is the House of the Divine and this is my vessel to steward.

Thank you Blessed Tangle for you have helped me remember who I am.    

Ana Juliana